As the month of Movember comes to a close, it’s only fitting that we go out with a bang moustache wise. For many this is the only month the noble cookie duster is relevant, but when you look through the history of entertainment and pop culture, the noble mustache has immortalized some individuals who partnered up with them.
I have compiled a list of the eight greatest moustaches of all-time. Like all ‘greatest’ lists, there will be some unpopular omissions and a few contestable inclusions. I however feel confident that I have provided the comprehensive list to be appreciated for eternity.
See, the thing about a great moustache, it isn’t just some hair on some pretty boy’s top lip. It is so much more than that, it is a part of an individual, as important as a leg or a torso. With that said, that is why the following eight moustaches are the greatest of all time.
Coming into prominence in the 1970s, Freddy Mercury was perhaps the greatest rockstar front man in the history of entertainment. He went through many looks and identities as all icons do, but his most iconic look was his moustached macho look in the 1980s.
The poster boy for homosexuality before there was even such a thing, the moustache helped Freddy really come into his own on the world stage. They parted ways with each other in the 90’s, but when you think of Freddy Mercury in his prime, you think of him with this incredible moustache.
Who knows what Tom Selleck’s life would have been without Magnum P.I and the majestic moustache he adorned as the lead character. Every heterosexual man in the 80s wanted a moustache and a Ferrari because of Magnum, and it’s not hard to see why.
It was such an incredible moustache that Selleck still has it. He could just never let it go, further proof as to why it is a deserved inclusion on this list.
A slightly more left field inclusion, but let’s face it, Sasha Baron Cohen could never have sold ‘Borat’ as a character worth his own movie without that moustache.
The great thing about Kazakstan, the moustache never went out of fashion there, but if they are as impressive of Borat’s, why would it?
How many guys do you know that could pull off head to toe spray tan, a yellow speedo and yellow leather traffic cop type boots? The answer is obviously nobody, the only reason Hulk Hogan did was because of his beautiful blond handlebar moustache.
The kids nowadays will disagree with this, but Hulk Hogan and his moustache represented the absolute prime of the WWF (now WWE). Since then it has just been guys on roids in speedos, it just isn’t the same.
Don’t know who Clark Gable is? Well take a moment to kick your own ass because this guy in his day was pretty much David Hasselhoff, George Clooney and Gerard Butler all rolled into one dashingly moustached man.
At the beginning of this article I said we aren’t showcasing pretty boys who grew a bit of lip hair, because there were men like Gable who were born with moustaches, and the ladies loved it from day one.
Perhaps a bit of surprise inclusion, but this is a case where the moustache was sort of more famous than the man.
Mansell may have been a F1 world champion in his heyday, but he was about as pleasant as gonorrhea so people just remember him as a guy with an exceptional moustache.
The Monopoly Man
Perhaps not a man in a conventional, living and breathing sense, but the Monopoly Man makes the list of greatest moustaches of all time.
Without this moustache, the Monopoly Man would look like a trainee used car salesman, and the board game itself may have never gone on to be the global success it is. That realization alone makes sure it is up here with the rest of the greats.
The late great Clive Rice
Like Clark Gable, the late great Clive Rice was born with a memorable moustache. Something that must have no doubt made him insanely intimidating to the batsmen face him at junior school level.
Like Freddy Mercury, Clive Rice was an absolute one of a kind, and right to the very end he kept his mo in tip top condition. Something that made every man in his presence feel nothing more than a sorry excuse for a male.
Think there are any other moustaches that deserve to be on the list? Let us know on Twitter @ShaveUnion